Getting Back to Basics

Seems that fall is whizzing toward me, as I try to squeeze every ounce of this beautiful Colorado weather out of each day. For me, our school year begins very soon, as I coop classes start next Tuesday and I begin to teach a speech-leadership course for the children Joy’s age–middle school. So, we will begin our regular schooling, too, as I will be taking a couple of speaking trips this fall and I don’t want to get behind.

I have pondered, lately, what I observe in many of the children that I meet along the way, how they reflect their mother’s philosophy of education and life. If you don’t start with the end in mine–what you want to see produced in your children’s lives, then you won’t build the right things along the way. I see so many sweet young moms going to these homeschooling fairs and piling themselves up with all sorts of colorful curriculum and work books–and even other moms who think they will accomplish their goals by using videos. Yet, the pioneering spirit of homeschooling, seems to be lost and I see the choice of these materials having an ill effect on so many children.

One of the problems of homeschooling today, is that it became big business and so all sorts of companies developed materials to tempt moms, who have so many feelings of inadequacy, to buy. The more of these curriculums a moms buys, the more stress she is putting on herself, because she will surely expand her feelings of inadequacy each month because of all the pages of assignments she will not finish. Multiplying guilt and inadequacy is never a formula for success in my book. More options does not necessarily mean more excellence. Now I do think that there  countless ways to homeschool and I have included many options over the years. I have especially benefited from being in homeschooling support groups and being involved in some of the activities and coop classes offered, especially when my children were older.

Yet, I see that those things that were the best choices, before all the homeschooling choices came, are still the best subject material to choose as the core of educating–great works of literature, classical music and art, original sources of history and animal, and nature stories, with a very basic math curriculum. Good healthy meals, sweet innocent pretend and play time, reading outloud for hours and hours, playing games together–celebrating and enjoying the seasons and moments of normal life, is the essence of life well-lived.  More choices just confuse and complicate our lives and fragment them.

Just because we now have hundreds of channels on television doesn’t mean the quality of shows has improved–more doesn’t always mean better. This is also true of education. Plying your life with myriad activities and opportunities and lessons and classes are costly in time, money, and peace. Choosing wisely a few focussed activities, and choosing the make home the center and priority of a mom’s life is the wisest, most historically and classically soothing way to build peace in the home and godly character in a child. (Do I need to say, don’t answer every phone call and turn off the t.v.?)

Clay and I had dinner with some dear friends the other night, who like us, have raised older children and launched them into the world as well as having young children in our home. Their children are lovely adults, one a nurse at John Hopkin’s Hospital in Baltimore and another, a lawyer working in Los Angelos. Both are outstanding in moral character, both love and serve the Lord and are making a difference in their worlds.

I asked my friend what she thought the difference was in what we were doing on our homes and what was different about most homeschooling moms today. She said that we were, above all, committed to being the personal mentors in our children’s lives–reading along with them, studying scripture together, serving alongside our children in ministry situations, working at chores and life side by side.  I realized how true this was. There is no substitute for a mom diving into great thoughts, with her children, and passionately discussing these together. If one of our primary goals for our children is to inspire them to love learning and to give them a passion about knowing and learning and creating, then this passion is caught when taught by a living, breathing, responsive person. No child or adult can get as much inspiration, personal attention or focussed attention from a video or online school. Now I am not saying that these things cannot be employed for some of the education or for a few subjects in which a mom and child can benefit from the expertise of others (and mainly in the high school years or for math tables or language study).

But, if we replace the love and care and encouragement and passion that comes from a mother’s heart to her children with a machine, we cannot expect to have the same heart and character results. Jesus’ impact on his disciples was because of the personal heart and mind and relationship and life time He had with His disciples. Can you imagine Him putting them on a video and telling them, “At the end of this multimedia course, you will be expected to give up your life for the cause of my Father, who is in heaven.” No, indeed. They gave their lives for His cause because He loved His own and shared His whole life with them. He befriended them, cared for them, instructed them. (This is the foundation of my book, The Ministry of Motherhood, which can be ordered through our website.) Your children are pre-wired to looking to you for love and approval and inspiration and care–they want you most of all. Your heart, your imagination, your joy, your love, your direction. May God so fill your heart, and give rest to your body, so that you will always have the resources from His Holy Spirit, from which your precious ones may have life to draw from.

I have included a year old blog entry from last year below that might be of some encouragement to some of you as you ponder your year. Be sure to look at my article on Itakejoy.wordpress.com for my other article this week about finding joy in the midst of the duties and stress, as therein lies the secret of life!

Focussing on the Essentials

I have spent the last several weeks speaking at conferences. I constantly meet moms who are trying to homeschool the best way and be sure that their children get it “all”. How blessed your children are to have you as their moms. However, I want to encourage each of you to relax. Homes have been the place where genius has been birthed, leaders have been made for thousands of years. It was because of the faithful mothers who have trained their children in character, given them chores to do, had discussions over the dinner meal, and read the Bible to their children. I feel so strongly that parents are so intent on getting the “best” experience in education, while not understanding that the most important aspect in a child’s education is the mentoring and directing of the parents over the personality, influences, peer relationships, and character development.

So many moms have asked me, “Do you know about this or that two day a week school and how it works and if it will help my child educationally?” I have lived through three of my children graduating and I have seen amazing results in their lives even though we didn’t have perfect school days or have consistent schedules. (Seventeen moves, six times internationally, car accidents, illnesses, etc.) Yet, my children have scored at the top on their SAT’s, received scholarships or pursued other areas in the arts and ministry where they were able to excell. What is the most important to me, though, is that, by God’s grace, our children still love us and listen to us and love the Lord and are seeking Him.

I have been to several national and international leadership conferences in the past year and am sick to find out the statistics of the youth culture—79% of children who grew up in Christian homes leave their Christian faith when they go to college. The appalling statistics of youth who are still virgins by the age of 17 is beyond comprehension. These were just statistics to me until they started turning up in my basement–our kids rec room–friends of my children who had grown up in church and some in homeschool groups who were in tears, confessing to my boys that they were sleeping with their Christian girlfriends and didn’t know how to stop and feeling guilty. With the rampant sexuality on tv and on the web and the immoral standards of movies, and the leisure time that children have with other children who are not monitored in their homes–and in your neighborhood, I must say—puts pressure on your children to want to conform and places temptation in their pathway. So the question of schools or not depends on what peers they will become heart connected to–what morals the people in the school have, how emotionally attatched they become to those in the school that could lead their heart astray.

In other words, focussing on educational classes primarily is, as I have said in my conferences, “straightening the picture on a wall of a house that is burning down.”

Your goal in education is reaching their heart, filling their emotional cup, teaching them moral foundations, capturing their vision for life for the kingdom of God, teaching them what it looks like to walk through difficult times while holding tight to the hand of God. May God grant you understanding and faith to follow these paths and to raise up a strong generation for Him.

As you begin this year, take time to get away with the Lord. Ask Him, Lord, what is your overall plan for me as I direct my home life? What attitudes do I need to correct in my own life? What are the deepest needs and issues for each of my children at this stage? What do I want to have as the end product of my life with them when they become young adults? What must I plan this year to build toward those goals.

Blessings!

Sally

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